Loosened from the mud, I find myself floating in a world of possibility.

So can you.

Letters to the Pumpkin: Week One

Dear Pumpkin Pie,

You're here! Ohmygod, YOU'RE HERE! Today you are nine days old.

OK, so I'm not off to the best start, but give me a break, you came early and I never had time to think about how I was going to write to you. So, here's your first letter, a couple days late. I wasn't as clever as you, scheming to do it early.

I do see it, Baby, I do really see how clever you were to come early. A whole month and three days early. If you'd gone your full term, I wouldn't have been able to give birth to you naturally. You would have probably been too big. But, then maybe I'd have had the time to reconsider this notion of giving birth naturally.

It was the most beautiful experience in my life. It was also the most traumatic experience in my life. Good thing your daddy was there, holding my hand, chanting Om each and every time a contraction hit.

21010 - Baby's birthday

Who gave me that idea anyhow? Can I blame it on the internet? Can I blame it on Dooce? Nah. She just affirmed my crazy idea. Can I blame it on my hippy, wiccan college buddies? The ones without kids? Nah. I can only blame myself and once I get something in my head, there's no changing my mind, except maybe personal experience and the wisdom that comes from that.

Anyhow, I'm glad I did because you are a great baby! I've read that babies who come into this world naturally, sans a "caine" drug, narcotics or morphine (all of which were offered to me repeatedly at the hospital), are quieter and more peaceful. And, truly you are a peaceful baby. You sleep through the night. Yep, you heard me right, you sleep through the night. I actually have to wake you to feed you. And sometime, you little stinker, you don't want to wake up.

21110 - the day after

Then, I think I'm rested and am going to get a lot done the next day, but I don't. Every since the day we brought you home, you have all our attention and concern.

21210 - all packed up

I cried when we brought you home. It wasn't because of a profound sense of family, but because the house was totally trashed. You see, a week before you were born, I lost all my energy. I sat at home, on the couch, and knitted you things. I didn't cook, I didn't clean, I barely made it to my meetings. There was cat hair piling up all over, dirty floors, dirty bedrooms and a dirty bathroom. Ugh. I didn't want you to come home to that.

Stardate 21310 - Mother's log: baby is now in blue stasis, resting peacefully...

Then a day after we had you settled in, the jaundice flared and you were encapsulated within this phototherapy bed. You should have seen the look on the face of your grandfather, your daddy's father, when he walked in and saw you in this phototherapy bed! He looked at us like we were some new age weirdos who chose to do this to you, like we were trying to darken your skin, or something. It was so funny trying to explain to him that the hospital had dropped this off for us. And we were glad not to have to take you back to the hospital.

21410 - cheeky monkey

You cheeky monkey! We have so many names for you! Silly monkey, kickin chicken, little peanut, pumpkin, or rather, honey bunny pumpkin pie. Whenever either us return after leaving the house for an hour or so, the words out of our mouths are "how's the pumpkin?!?"

21510 - comfy in Daddy's arms

You daddy is so in love with you. He's the diaper changing daddy dude. I changed my first diaper the other day. I've got a lot to learn.

And that profound sense of family? Well, that comes at night. I never wanted to co-sleep, but if that's what keeps you sleeping through the night, I'll do it. We put you on a pillow between us and then, your daddy and I curl around you, our feet and legs crossing below you. And we feel like this is it - this is family. I thought there was nothing that could top the day I married your dad on Valentine's Day, but now I know better. You sweet little face between us is the most precious Valentine.

21610 - my little inchworm

You're the best, pumpkin. You're sweetest, most precious, most beautiful baby ever! Everyone loves you. But, we love you the most and we want you to have all the best this world has to offer.

We did a ritual the other night. Your granny, my mother, instructed us how to beseech the Hindu goddess in charge of fate. We set up a ghee candle, some rice and coins, a sheet of paper, a red pen and one of your receiving blankets. And we laid there with you until the candle burned out, praying for a good life, full of fun and adventure, love and good friendships, full of deserts and mountains and forests and oceans and lakes, full of travel and a sense of home, full of art and books and music and films, full of everything this Universe has to offer. And, I cried again because I really do want all these things for you.

The Olympics are on television right now. And your daddy keeps dreaming about snowboarding, skiing or hockey gold medals for you, pumpkin. I don't know if my heart can take it. But I'll support you no matter what you want to do.

Because I'm your mom. Just because you are you. And, also, just because.

Love you, honey bunny pumpkin pie,
from Me, your mommy.


  1. She is SO beautiful, but how could she not be when she has you for her mommy.

    I echo all your dreams, hopes and wishes for her lovely one...and send you all much love.



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