Sunday, May 19, 2013
I'm looking back on these photos for a reason. These photos show that we did indeed to have a great time on our vacation. The weather wasn't ideal, our health was questionable, but the location was perfect and the time we spent together was sweet, mostly.
Truth is I was on the verge of a bad emotional time for me. I had a root canal a few weeks and thought I was through the worst of it. Then I got sick, really sick over Mother's Day. Compound these physical challenges with the new phase of uncontrolled and uncontrollable willfulness from my 31/2 year old. All this sent me over the edge. I spent this last week at home thinking about how I was descending into depression, an impossible circumstance at an impossible - all made impossible by the responsibilities of motherhood, stay-at-home motherhood.
It took me the whole week to realize that it was in fact depression that I was feeling, despite the internal dialogue of denial. I was the most tender I have ever been with myself although I can't same say I acted the same way towards my child.
But now it's over, overwhelmed as it was by the beautiful Minnesota spring weather.
And now I have these photos. I've put on weight, I've lost a ton of hair, but I think I can still see some spirit in there.
I'm hoping that all will be back to tolerable in a day or two.
The Big D morphed into Captain Huggy Face, Word Girl's sidekick, in all ways except the spinning on the ground. The lengths that this man went through to keep us moving on the trail and in good spirits was endearing. I'm sure he was glad we had the state park to ourselves.