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you don't choose your family...

...I did though, I chose my family. My girl and this man are the best decisions I made in my life. Both decisions were ambitious and both have big beautiful life consequences...

I didn't have grandparents in my life as I was growing up. My mother hauled me along on the journey to immigrate to North America, taking me an ocean of miles away from extended family. My parents waited seven more years before having another child so I was older when my sister was born and as such, we both grew up as the only child.

My particular brand of "only child" syndrome shows up as a deep yearning for family - grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins. My husband was the youngest of three boys and he has had loads of family, enough so that he is content with our own little three-person family. He can afford minimal contact with others. This has been the biggest clash in our marriage, this disparity between our needs for familial relationships. When he wants it, he just reaches out by for pho…

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