Letters to the Baby Lotus Bud: Month Three
So Mother's Day was this last weekend and a few days before that big day when I was checking out our accounts and paying bills, I had a slight freakout moment as I encountered a rather large debit from Target. When was I last at Target? Umm, sometime way last week. Is this identity theft? Could be. Target seems shady to me these days. But also it not entirely unlikely that I left my debit card behind, got "mommy brain" lately. I freaked for more than fifteen minutes, then went to grab the phone to call the Big D, your big daddy. Suddenly, it hit me. Oh, yes, that there is my mother's day present. He got the very thing I asked for - a radio plus Ipod player for the kitchen. Oh, yes and the card you gave me was awesome, too!
So, then I chilled out and gave you bath because I love seeing your big eyes get even bigger.
Here's a better picture of your big eyes getting bigger.
See. Normal Eyes.
Gah, I just go nuts over that look in your eyes. It's so funny and I mean in a totally cute way. I try to think of this, how cute you look when you drive me crazy. Can I admit this to you? You sort of drive me nuts in another, not so good way. I'm tired. I had two weeks with no meetings and by the end of last week, I felt lonely and tired.
One day I was so fed up I sat outside for while leaving you to fuss by yourself. Then, I came back in and decided to turn to you for comfort. We did baby yoga for a while, then I pulled out my laptop and we played, at least I played. I tried out the webcam for the first time. After a while, I started to feel better.
Started Mom and Baby class last week at the hospital where you were born. I thought perhaps I would freak out going onto that same floor but it all turned out OK. I left feeling very blessed for the experience of your birth. Most of the other mommies had pretty tough, traumatic experiences. Apparently whomever runs this program did not get the word that you came early because you are the oldest kid in the class, but not that much bigger. I don't say a whole lot in this class because you are a fairly easy baby.
At the end of Monday's class we just sat there, you and I, with the other mommies and their babies and that felt good. No agenda, just mommies and babies hanging out. It made me want to start a similar meeting at the Co-op. Once a month, perhaps, strictly BYOB - Bring Your Own Baby. I have all these ideas but my energy level doesn't necessarily match my enthusiasm.
I am so tired.
Your granny wants me to go and have three-month pictures taken of you. She is not satisfied with the pictures I've taken because they weren't done by a professional. She forgets this is what I did for a few years before I met your Daddy. Sure I don't have the props, but still I think my pictures are good.
I am so tired.
Look here at your kitty. Maxine loves your crib. The crib that we haven't moved you into yet. When we do I'm going to miss you.
I'm going to miss sleeping with you so much! Because even though I'm tired of you, I love you. I love you more than I love your Daddy and that's something I never could have thought would happen.
Well...maybe I should say I love you more but also in a different way. I still love him a lot for the man that he is and also because he carries the whole world on his shoulders.
Love from me, your mommy.