Loosened from the mud, I find myself floating in a world of possibility.

So can you.

My First Mother's Day was Surprisingly Good!

The eve of Mother's Day was tough, and so the fact that my first Mother's Day turned out nice was a surprise.

What a treat for Mother's Day! Morel mushrooms!

In the last post I griped about fussing over recipes. This evening I'm still reeling from the awesome Mother's Day dinner that we cooked. For the record, though, I have to say that there were no recipes involved in this dinner, just stuff put together at the last minute. But then I guess I should admit that all that recipe-fussing is what creates the confidence and experience necessary for throwing together a meal at the last moment. Quite possibly the best dinner I've had in years. Or maybe it was the beer that made me think this. No, it was the best meal I've had in years. The beer just made it that much better.

We had:
* rib-eye steaks from Futility Farms. I swear I can taste the sunlight in the pasture from where these cows fed during their happy lives on the farm.
* green beans cooked up with garlic and lime juice. It was a flavor combination I learned from a Puerto Rican grad school friend of mine. I cooked them while dancing with Baby Lotus Bud in my arms, so I think that added to the extra special flavor. We danced in the kitchen to the music playing on my Mother's Day gift - a new radio that also connects to my IPod. Isn't it cute? Baby Lotus Bud was supposed to be sleeping, but of course she wasn't.

* yukon gold potatoes with sour cream and chives; chives from the garden.
* and the morel mushrooms! Sauteed in butter, they topped the steaks with such flavor. Yum! It was my first taste of these mushrooms. I had wandered to the Co-op and saw them there in the produce section and thought, hmmmmm, why don't we try them? 5 bucks for just those two mushrooms, but, ohh baby, they were worth it!
* and beer! Can't forget the beer. It was a 1554 Enlightened Black Ale. Yum! I've heard from several sources that dark beer helps lactation.
* oatmeal chocolate chip cookies for dessert!

Notice all the exclamation marks. It was that good.

So, back to the night before. I had a breakdown, I think. At about midnight when the Baby Lotus Bud woke for her last nighttime feeding, I just lost it. I am tired of her. It's safe to say that I'm sort of sick of her. At least, at the moment, at midnight I was just done. I wanted out. The awful thing is knowing that she is an easy baby. She sleeps 5 hours at night, which is quite a treat these days. She rarely cries unless she's hungry and I'm not quick to respond. She smiles a lot and she's just such a good baby. But, last night at midnight, I just felt done. My body got really warm, the room started spinning - I felt like I had vertigo again, but in actuality I think my body was worn from pumping then feeding her for one hour that evening. Breastfeeding really wears on the body, it's tiring and draining. So, immediately after the room stopped spinning, she started crying and I lost it. The Big D got me a cool glass of water, then dipped his fingers in order to cool my head, soothing me, bringing me off the ledge. I had to then turn on my side and feed her. Thankfully, she slept until 5:30 this morning. I'm getting pretty good at the "lying on the side" position for feeding so early morning feedings are no big deal. We both fall asleep again.

We woke up to a bright sunny day here in the Northeast Minneapolis. A new day. Mother's Day. She was cute. I loved her and realized that I can't live without her. I woke up to a card on my pillow. It was sweet. The Big D had put black ink on the Baby's feet and pressed them onto the card. I was impressed that he thought to do that right after I got over the fact that he put black ink on my baby's feet. And, he managed to do this without me finding out.

We got up, got dressed and headed out to our new favorite breakfast place.

We rushed to get there only to find that the place was packed so we had to wait. But, we waited outside on the nice patio and drank our coffees and took pictures and just generally chilled, figuratively and literally as it was a little chilly outside. But the coffees and the sun warmed up.

A woman sitting a few table down from us stopped by on her way out. She said it looked obvious that I was a "proud mama" and I was thinking, what? Can't you see that I'm sick of this here little baby, the rock star baby that everyone ohhs and ahhs over? This little cheeky monkey?

Anyway so we had a nice breakfast, then a nice walk, then a fantastic dinner.

And now those two, that husband and that baby of mine are crashed out on the big chair. Suddenly, everything feels all right.

It was a good day after all.


  1. Oh...Wonderful, wonderful woman...you are a perfect Mom. *smiles*

    And please never, ever feel that "wanting out, a day off, not to be a Mom any more, all done..." means you aren't a perfect Mom. Being a Mom means no privacy, no time to yourself, and breast feeding means that in an incredibly invasive way. Its normal to need space...

    When next you can, just try to pump a bit of milk and go have a girls night out or an evening at home all alone for a few hours. It will be good for D and for you too.

    Happy Mother's Day in a belated fashion.

    I was so caught up in my MOther's Day feeling wonderful this year for the first time in awhile, that I forgot it was your first.

    It sounds like it was a warm, special memory to tuck away. I'm so glad you are keeping this diary. Yay!

    Morels on Mother's Day...wow!

    And you are right. The ingredients in dark beer do enhance milk production, but you don't actually have to consume them in beer, you could do some research on consuming them in other ways, so you don't have to worry about the alcohol. I know that hops are full of nutrients for one thing. It makes an unusual tea actually. *smiles*

    ((big hugs))

  2. I bet every new mother goes through that just the sheer exhaustion & hormones. Luckily you have a good husband there to help you through. I don't know how my sister did it with twins!
    We got morels last year at Mill City Market & they were so expensive! Definitely only for a treat.

  3. I also wanted to say, good for you for being willing to write about being sick of your baby & putting it out in public. I think its good for other mothers to see they don't have to be the perfect mama all the time.

  4. I, too, want to commend you for being brave enough to write about the days when you just don't want to be a mom. Everyone puts the full brunt of parenthood on the mother and you can feel real guilty about those moments. I found out Mother's Day is a sham. You don't get a day off from being a mother, just a little bit of appreciation. Next year, I want a day off, until my baby can bring me home macaroni cards and make me breakfast in bed, it's just another day.
    Your daughter is A-DOR-A-BLE


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