139 retrospective truth
I'm looking back on these photos for a reason. These photos show that we did indeed to have a great time on our vacation. The weather wasn't ideal, our health was questionable, but the location was perfect and the time we spent together was sweet, mostly.
Truth is I was on the verge of a bad emotional time for me. I had a root canal a few weeks and thought I was through the worst of it. Then I got sick, really sick over Mother's Day. Compound these physical challenges with the new phase of uncontrolled and uncontrollable willfulness from my 31/2 year old. All this sent me over the edge. I spent this last week at home thinking about how I was descending into depression, an impossible circumstance at an impossible - all made impossible by the responsibilities of motherhood, stay-at-home motherhood.
It took me the whole week to realize that it was in fact depression that I was feeling, despite the internal dialogue of denial. I was the most tender I have ever been with myself although I can't same say I acted the same way towards my child.
But now it's over, overwhelmed as it was by the beautiful Minnesota spring weather.
And now I have these photos. I've put on weight, I've lost a ton of hair, but I think I can still see some spirit in there.
I'm hoping that all will be back to tolerable in a day or two.