139 retrospective truth

I'm looking back on these photos for a reason.  These photos show that we did indeed to have a great time on our vacation.  The weather wasn't ideal, our health was questionable, but the location was perfect and the time we spent together was sweet, mostly.

Truth is I was on the verge of a bad emotional time for me.  I had a root canal a few weeks and thought I was through the worst of it.  Then I got sick, really sick over Mother's Day.  Compound these physical challenges with the new phase of uncontrolled and uncontrollable willfulness from my 31/2 year old.  All this sent me over the edge.  I spent this last week at home thinking about how I was descending into depression, an impossible circumstance at an impossible - all made impossible by the responsibilities of motherhood, stay-at-home motherhood.

It took me the whole week to realize that it was in fact depression that I was feeling, despite the internal dialogue of denial.  I was the most tender I have ever been with myself although I can't same say I acted the same way towards my child.

But now it's over, overwhelmed as it was by the beautiful Minnesota spring weather.

And now I have these photos.  I've put on weight, I've lost a ton of hair, but I think I can still see some spirit in there.

I'm hoping that all will be back to tolerable in a day or two.