Longest Day of the Year
I do like Summer, but it is not my favorite season. I always feel a bit cheated by the fact that the day the Summer Solstice arrives, we move to a cycle where each consecutive day is shorter. Every year I am surprised by this. I look forward to this time year for so long and then when it's here, it means the beginning of the end.
Last night I was writing in my journal about the fact that I survived the longest day of the year with my little Niobe. Then I realized I didn't just survive, I enjoyed it. I think we are hitting a new phase in her development and in our relationship. Or it just could be that I'm starting to feel a bit better and so it's easier to just have fun with her.
I remember when this shirt was a dress. She has grown. I have been waiting for her to grow to this age, an age where we can have conversations and make muffins together and do art projects together.
The last few months have been all about testing boundaries and kicking the fence to see where it is. I've finally got some tools and an action plan to help me manage her energy and help provide some structure. The day after I sat down with my neighbor (child psychologist for the MSP school district) for a long conversation about all this, my little one seemed to calm down into a new phase.
Funny how that works. Just when I'm at my wits end, it all changes.
She's a great kid. I realized that all my struggles with her were actually struggles with myself.
The long days of summer gave me the time I needed to sort it all out.
It's good timing because I want to experience this summer through the eyes of my little one.
She's so full of energy. She skips everywhere. Simply walking is absolutely not enough.
Chalk everywhere. Mud and dirt on all her clothes.
The best ways to enjoy the season!
I want to soak in every glorious moment and lock all of it into my heart forever.
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Lotus Bud has really grown since our Initial Iron craft days...shez very pretty!! I guess crafting Moms like us can't wait for their daughters to grow and start doing craft projects together. I too am waiting for my lil one to come to this age...when it'll be time for chalk everywhere!! Have fun Manisha!
ReplyDeleteYou mention survival and that's how I've felt a lot with my lil' E. My days have always been about getting through and surviving. I think I've really struggled in these first few years. When my husband leaves town, I really focus on the "survival" part. I get anxious and exhausted just thinking about those days where he's not around. But, we've just now reached a point where our days are fun and I realize I'm not constantly searching for activities for her to do but rather just being together is fun. She's finding more and more enjoyment with pretend play and creativity. I confess, I'm not the mother I thought I'd be. I've really struggled with this, too. Motherhood, in my opinion, shows me my biggest flaws and those are hard to accept and also hard to change. I'm not crafty. I don't sit on the floor and play with her enough. I'm too busy focusing on what I need to do (i.e., chores, cooking, work, and even "me" time). It's been a hard journey--much harder than I anticipated. I'm slowly learning to sit back and enjoy because these years, while difficult, are also really flying by. And, then I get sad thinking about that. :) Niobe is beautiful! Good to reconnect with you. Sorry for my absence. Maybe I'm finally coming back to life.
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