you don't choose your family...





...I did though, I chose my family. My girl and this man are the best decisions I made in my life. Both decisions were ambitious and both have big beautiful life consequences...

I didn't have grandparents in my life as I was growing up. My mother hauled me along on the journey to immigrate to North America, taking me an ocean of miles away from extended family. My parents waited seven more years before having another child so I was older when my sister was born and as such, we both grew up as the only child.

My particular brand of "only child" syndrome shows up as a deep yearning for family - grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins. My husband was the youngest of three boys and he has had loads of family, enough so that he is content with our own little three-person family. He can afford minimal contact with others. This has been the biggest clash in our marriage, this disparity between our needs for familial relationships. When he wants it, he just reaches out by for phone for it while I just ache with frustrated efforts that leave me hesitant about more.

Him and I - we both lost mothers recently. Both situations were very sad yet also held a sense of relief. I have felt this before in the end of close friendships.

Him and I - we both have easily jettisoned relationships from our lives. We've severed nearly all ties except those bonded between the three of us.

Him and I - with the girl is what we have.

Him and I and the girl is what we are.



There is this thing I want desperately to do. It something I began back in 2007. With all the flare of drama I can muster, I return to blogging. I have not been here blogging in nearly two years.

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