a shift for 2014


(12)

Dave's birthday came and went on the the 12th of this month.  I did manage to make a cake.

Last year started so differently than this current one, there was so much more hope, more dreaming.  This year is about the manifestation of those dreams and living with the fact that I got what I asked for.  This year I will be far more careful about what it is I ask for because I am fairly convinced of my own power to create my life with dreams.

Last year I decided on some new habits that ended up being resolutions.  So a quick review of how those new habits played out in 2013. 

I decided to bake a cake once a month.  This one quickly went by the wayside as i realized the consequence to my waistline.  I also realized that I just wanted one good cake recipe that I could pull out when needed.  So when I found the one, I stuck to it and no longer felt the need to pursue once a month cake-baking.

One big one habit/resolution was flossing my teeth every day, something I have kept up and for that I am happier and healthier.  But I can't help but point out that it was when I was flossing that I broke a tooth and ended up with root canal hell.  It's good that it happened when it did because if I had let it go just a little longer, I would have lost the tooth.  I found a kind and gentle dentist who even cleaned the stains off my teeth right before i was scheduled to speak in Austin.  I look forward to the cleanings and am on the road to good dental health.

Is it just coincidence that later in the year I got a teaching gig with the School of Dentistry?  I don't think so.  It's a mighty fine little once-a-month job that pays really well, I'm supported by several assistants, I get to work with students of color, and my parking fees are paid.

A regular cleaning routine has paid off immensely.  My home no longer seems too small for the three of us which is good because we couldn't find another home in the area that we like.  I am de-cluttering, but more than that, I am de-ownig.  I truly believe that clearing the space has opened me for new opportunities which have flooded into my life.

Now I find myself busier than I have been in a very long time.  It's good but I do fret about the fact that my outside commitments keep me from my personal, artistic goals.  I suppose I should look to 2014 as a year to find balance.

When I started big dreaming the idea of being a community leader kept coming back to me.  I worked on my skills by joining Toastmasters, by journaling, by reading up on leadership, by working on my facilitation methods.  Now I am the board's president and we are on the cusp of a huge expansion project. I've taken a different role with our monthly community meetings and have effectively engaged the larger community with the planning process.  It all feels good and I feel like I'm moving in the right direction.  And I enjoy it when I keep my anxiety from spiking.

One to way to manage my anxiety was to let go of a few commitments in my life in order to free up time to work on my mental and physical health.  I took on too much but now it all feels far more manageable.

Phew!  Major mind dump here, but much needed.  Our twenty-year anniversary trip to New Orleans is just two weeks away.  I'm preparing for that and now am finally looking forward to the trip for the first time this year.

Yesterday was the 2nd new moon of the month, today begins the Chinese yang wood horse new year.  There has been a considerable shift in my mood.  I feel alive again.  I know I do good work.  I am focusing on "faking it until I make it" and find that mantra applies to my relationship with my daughter.  I am good "faker," after all, I am a gemini.

My goals for 2014:
1. find balance
2. slow down for self-care
3. de-own frivilous possessions
4. catch-up on and continue my 365 photo project
5. provide my daughter a shimmeringly wonderful life

2014.  I'm ready to begin again.

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